Rape Self Defense - how would You cope?

For this page we asked self defense author Lori Hoeck to help us look at some of the methods available to you for rape self defense.

We've broken your options down into into escape, fight, defuse, or comply.

And we consider each one individually - giving you some great womens self defense tips.



Use of escape in Rape Self Defense

Many criminal attackers work to make a target vulnerable by isolation, intimidation, and surprise. So a ready escape might not be available.

But if you can get away... run for it!

Often you will have to distract your attacker first. Here's some ideas:

  • Physical distraction. Throw a chair, deliver a blow to the throat, or use your whole body to move them beyond a door that you can then close. Then run in the opposite direction.
  • Verbal distraction. Start yelling loud and deep. Tell them lies 'my husband is in the mafia...' Bring up their grandmother. 'Does your grandmother know you are doing this?' Anything to bust up their attack mode.
  • Visual distraction. Pick up defensive item or an expedient weapon. Throw items that make them duck and cover - choose anything that is to hand.
  • Defy. Go berserk. Start hitting, punching, kicking, and throwing. This can surprise an attacker, demonstrate you are un-afraid, and show you are not easily controlled.

Fighting Back in Rape Self Defense

Attack back with ferocity. Fight with an intensity that makes a momma bear protecting her cubs look like a wimp. Don't just be an angry momma bear, be an angry, SCARY momma bear.

Every option, every target, and every deception is open to you. Lie. Use flattery. Run. Act scared. Rip the throat out. Bite. Pinch. Yell. Swear. Bash a grabbing hand into the wall. Head butt the nose. Stomp the attacker's foot. Elbow the solar plexus or floating ribs. Gouge the eyes. Grab a finger and break it.

And you don't stop until you are free and safe.

Overcoming our more gentle and civil natures to perform these admittedly gruesome moves usually requires training. But if you've ever seen or been a woman fighting tooth and nail for her child or other loved one, you know we all have an Inner Warrior.

How do you do it? Besides the 'mother instinct?'

You turn fear into outrage. Rage and anger tend to be more difficult to control. But feelings of outrage are powerful, resolute, raw and motivating. 'How Dare he do this to me!' is a very powerful thought. Outrage allows you to have greater control of yourself and the situation.

We think the best way to develop your personal self defense skills and overcome fear of confrontation so you can use them, is to take some formal martial arts training.

Here's our guide to choosing the right martial art school for you.

And of course as soon as you can... Escape!

Defusing the situation in rape self defense

You do have the option to act like a victim and play along.

By doing this you bide time and reduce the attacker's adrenaline. Then you explode into action at the earliest opportunity.

'Feigning capitulation is often ideal when all other options have been exhausted. Tell the attacker that you are scared and don't want any trouble.

Say something like, 'Please don't hurt me.' This will fool the attacker's reasoning process into believing that you are already beaten, thus switching off his adrenaline and maybe even spurring an endorphin release... This will drop his defenses long enough for you to preemptively escape or attack and escape.' - Geoff Thompson, author of Dead or Alive, The Choice is Yours.

Complying in rape self defense- Go along in hopes of surviving.

Sometimes a situation is so fast or overwhelming, a woman feels she should comply to survive. Every person must make that decision for themselves.

Just don't make the decision based on the myth that fighting back will make the attacker more angry. This is simply not true.

Some things to consider in a rape self defense situation.

  • Your chances of getting away increases the more active your responses are.
  • Would you forcefully defend a small child from attack or rape, especially if she were your own? Then why wouldn't you defend yourself?
  • Criminals are looking for easy victims, not fighters.
  • The sooner you flee, the less trauma the attacker can inflict.
  • A determined and outraged target fighting back makes a formidable opponent, no matter the size.
  • Women who fight back are statistically injured less and feel better about themselves afterward.
  • You are dealing with a criminal whose word is no good, who is trying to hurt you, who has probably has done so to many others, and who does not want a witness testifying against them.

'...the will to live and fighting spirit is the most important thing for a person to have when in danger. Skills are important, but will is the fuel for protecting yourself, with or without formal training.' - Ellen Snortland, author of Beauty Bites Beast, Awakening the Warrior Within Women and Girls.

To learn more female self defense head to Lori's Hoeck's site. If you sign up to to the site you get an excellent free self defense book. This free e-book contains 116 pages of expert advice. It's ideal if you want to start to take responsibility for your safety or if you want to talk to your kids about their safety.

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