Fear for the beginner and the intimidating air of black belts
by Excited beginner
As a yellow belt student, I know how intimidating it is to try and speak with anyone in your dojang much less a black belt. Those who have more an air of a teacher figure then a fellow student.
For anyone starting out, the intimidation will eat you alive. So will the reluctance and the fear and it doesn't go away soon. I am still feeling all of these feelings but that is all part of being a beginner and to anyone who says they never felt fear or reluctance is lying.
You will feel fear when you test for your next belt and I am told it scares even the black belts to go to tests and spar and such.
As a student of a skill that not only hones our physical prowess but also our mental and emotional state, this is to be expected. This "beginner's fear" in the dojang will help us in life and our progression of skills will teach us to be the best we can be.
But I am just a yellow belt, so what do i know right?
Well, you seem to know a lot.
You described exactly what most of us felt when we first stepped into the dojang and onto the matt. All the black belts in the first line have been exactly where you are standing...
... and, yes, feeling what you are feeling.
Thanks for sharing your story. There will be someone out there that will read this and their own anxieties about practice will be eased thanks to your story.
You are definetly a black belt in the making - keep up the good work!
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